White Chrysanthemum

Samantha Fajardo
School of Human Education


The loud music playing throughout the place filled the emptiness this house once had before. I started to feel my feet tremble from the speakers and my head starting to pound. As I stood here next to Morrisette, the pain in my head felt like someone had taken a knife to my skull. I could barely understand the people chattering around me and the conversion I'm having with Morrisette.

"I'm sorry Morrisette, is it okay if l go get some air right now?" I cut off Morrisette but as the loving sister-in-law that she is, she nodded yes.

I made my way through the sea of black clothing, I took a quick look at the photo display before walking out the door. There was a picture in the middle of the table. It was someone's wedding day. A man wearing a white suit who was taller than the other person in the black suit. The short male was kissing his lover wearing white on the cheek as he's on his tiptoes. The shorter male had similar features as me. Black as the night hair color with freckles that covered his face like the stars in the night.

I felt a hand on my shoulder the moment I stepped outside. It was Nico, my lover. He was wearing a white suit that complimented my black attire. The innocent color brought out his dark wavy hair and his hazelnut eyes. His eyes were always my favorite thing about him. His body towers over me and his face was so pale, it was a bit concerning.

"Where have you been?" I asked

"I was watching over you my dear" he flashed a smile. "What kind of bulls*** is that?" I replied.
He wrapped his arms around my waist. He disappeared for a whole year without saying anything. My body felt uneasy with the thought of the incident. Droplets of water fell onto the ground. The rain is about to start or so I thought it was raining. It's been a while since I saw his face and my heart still goes crazy when I see him. But this time was different, there was a hint of pain being mixed into the craziness. His skin was pale almost as if he was a ghost standing in front of me. But somehow he had an angelic glow around him that made it impossible to look away. The loud music from inside the house suddenly started to fill the night sky. I could hear the strumming of the guitar as it played a familiar tune.

"Lorenzo, it's our wedding song. Do you remember?" He says as he moves himself to face me.
I'm telling you. I softly whisper. Tonight, tonight. You are my angel...

He had his hand out like he was a prince asking the maiden to have this dance. The song brought back many memories of when the two of us were young. All the good and bad days together. The tears and the "I love you." I miss it all and would do anything to have that feeling again. My body calms down as he presses his body towards me. I rested my head against his chest as he sang the song to me. I closed my eyes and took what was going on. It was a nostalgic feeling to be in his arms again.

I love you. We will become one. Tonight, tonight. I just say...

Before letting a word out, I took time to recollect my thoughts before saying anything.

"I couldn't handle the feeling of you being gone. I walked into an empty house sitting by the door waiting for you to come home. That's what you've been watching for the past year. Why did you leave me, Nico?" I asked again.

I stopped dancing for a second and stared into his eyes. Tears. I made Nico's hazelnut eyes cry a river. He tightened his grip around me and put his head down to avoid my eyes.

Wherever you are, I'll always make you smile. Wherever you are, I'm always by your side.

"Since the beginning, whenever I look at you I can feel it like I'm home again with you. I didn't mean to leave you behind Lorenzo and that's the one thing that I regr—" I cut him off before he could finish that word.

"Nico, I can't handle the loneliness anymore. The worst day of loving someone is the day that you lose them. Because in the end when you lose somebody, there's a hole in your life where that somebody used to be. There's only one way to fill this empty hole again." Whatever you say, you're always on my mind. I promise you 'forever' right now...

"Please stay, my dear. I don't care where we are. I just care that we're together no matter where I am. I just need you to stay here... for me" he says as he tightens his grip.

Wherever you are, I'll never make you cry...

"I can't... You know that I can't do this anymore," I replied. Tears falling endlessly down my face.
"I love you so much and I'm always here." His words were like a knife to my heart.

"I can't see you but if l do people think I'm crazy. I can't touch you anymore. I can't hold your hand. I can't kiss you. I can't cry in your arms anymore. Whenever I hear your voice, people send me away to fix me up. "

The gush of wind starts circling the two of us on the ground. Nico body slowly starts fading into the air

Wherever you are, I'll never say goodbye...

"I'm sorry Lorenzo for never saying goodbye to you. I love you so much that this incident wasn't your fault. So please don't think this is because of you. I have a favor to ask of you, my dear. Please don't make the foolish mistake I did. I will always be with you wherever I go and just remember that I love you so much Lorenzo," he said.

Nico kissed me on the lips then disappeared with the white chrysanthemum petals that were picked up by the wind.

"No, no you can't."

"No, Nico you can't. Please don't go away again. Please don't do this to me."
"You're all I have."

The ground was cold and the emptiness around me felt even more intense than before.

The tears wouldn't stop and the pain in my heart worsened. The moonlight created the same angelic glow from Nico with the white chrysanthemum petals.

"Lorenzo," Morrisette calls me from a distance.

I got up from the ground and started to head inside. The photo display from before shared loving memories of Nico. There was our wedding photo on the table. Nico's smile was my favorite part. His black wavy hair and his dimples on both sides of his face. The white suit brought out his sun-kissed skin. While my black suit made my black hair and freckles stand out. I heard Nico's mother in the distance starting her speech.